Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
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OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My life is pants optional.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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