What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
