but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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