Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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