Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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