I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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