He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
