Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
