Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
