i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
