Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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