I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
