Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
