My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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