so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
