YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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