Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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