also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize