This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
