I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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