I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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