He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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