JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
