I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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