May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
