Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
