Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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