She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
