I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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