i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
