I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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