some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
