next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I touched a dick in church today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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