What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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