Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
