BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
