If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
