don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
