with your own penis?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
