why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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