Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
