they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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