garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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