Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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