We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
