Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
