What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
