good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
