What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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