Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
