i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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