no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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