My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
