um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize