Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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