New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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