Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
