yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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