I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
