youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize