i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
