it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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