Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just had sex on a roof
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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