the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I FOUND THE LEGS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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