Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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