Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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